Blog #6 Transitions in Marriage

     It is said that when getting married in your early twenties the marriage is more likely to fail and not last long. While others are saying if you wait to get married when you are in your late twenties the marriage is more likely to succeed. This could be true for some but it is also false with other marriages. So many people are getting married in their early twenties, I did, I was actually nineteen when I got married and it has only been two years but I know it will last forever. There are terms used for age groups when getting married. If you get married in your early twenties that is called "cornerstone" because they provide a foundation as partners forge family life and hit milestones like, education, careers and finances together. Where if you get married in your late twenties that is called "capstone" because the individuals have already launch something and are set in their careers and most likely already graduated college and have moved up in life.

    It is different to transition from being single and doing life on your own to getting married and meshing two lives together. A big thing that comes with marriage is children, when getting married the two of you will discuss how many children you each want and how long until you want to start having kids. I read that if you get married younger it is more common to wait a few years before having children. This is common in young marriages because the two of you are still young and figuring out life. There should be adventures and traveling, getting life settled before bringing kids into the mix. That is not true with everyone who gets married young and you can choose to have kids whenever you guys want. With getting married older people start having kids much sooner because they are on a biological clock and can't wait to long before it won't happen for them. No matter when you get married don't let other determine when you are to have kids. It should be on you and your spouses terms that you talked about as a team.

    Dating is really important to focus on when wanting to get married. Date for a while and date many people to figure out who you really want to spend the rest of your life with. Take your time to date and when you find the one always keep dating. There are many important things to work on when transitioning for marriage but dating is the most important, especially when you are married. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you should stop dating. That is important in a marriage, dating in marriage makes it so you get to know your spouse more. Dating keeps your marriage alive and gives you adventure in your life. That is what my husband and I do, we plan dates every week or every other week. If you get married young then dating is very important because the two of you are still getting to know yourself and each other. Dating lets you figure out what you and your spouse like and don't like. Be ready to plan a marriage after you find that person and get engaged.

    One last thing with transitioning in marriage is transitioning with each others parents. When getting married you have to set boundaries with all parents. I was living with my parents until I got married so my parents were telling me what to do and helping me out and being my parents. When I got married it was so new to me and I didn't do anything, at first, to set the boundaries. As husband and wife it is just the two of you and you two need to figure it out and do things on your own because you are married. The parents aren't apart of the marriage, they didn't marry the kids so they shouldn't have an opinion on what the two of you choose. For a long time at the beginning of my marriage I did that a lot. My husband and I would decide on something and I would tell my mom and I would change my mind and go with her not my husband. That is not good for the marriage, so please talk with the parents and say it is you and your spouse now and he is more important now.